Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Whitney and Ally's excellent adventure:

In lieu of past promises to myself to go on a road trip after graduating the public institution the United States so satirically calls high school, I have left my house in a caravan of one to see the world. Well, as much of the world that is to be seen by two girls traversing the mountainous trail from Arizona to Canada.

Packed to capacity and ready to go
Day one on the journey began at seven A.M.
Waking up to the ill-timed alarm clock that interrupted my dreams of an industrial park labyrinth, I rolled out of bed and began loading the Honda Odyssey. Day one of the journey began with a groan, and a shuffle, and absolutely no breakfast or a shower. Despite the downfalls that mornings generally offer, I left the house with a smile and skedaddled off to my travelmateWhitney's house to load the cooler and pick up some of her things. Whitney is my best friend, a talented and beautiful blond of whom I met one fateful afternoon in Montessori school when she stole the toy I was playing on. Apparently she charmed me later that afternoon because when I got home from school I told my parents, in that cute fashion that only three year old girls can accomplish, "I met this girl named Whitney, and she's lovely!" And we've been best friends ever since, causing havoc and mayhem, breaking hearts and spinning tales every day since, until one day (today) we awoke to find ourselves ready to drive five thousand miles armed only with mace and hiking boots.
When I finished loading the car this morning, it contained much more than we could possibly ever need on a three month journey, let alone the three week one we had planned! The back of the van was outfitted, complete with a mattress and a cooler. Our elegant chariot of comfort awaited.
Gassing the van for the ride up!

The best stories are those where everything goes wrong, the protagonist overcomes obstacles, and in the end lives for ever after in a rather happy fashion. Fortunately for Whitney and I, the day went smoothly: we went to church, met to coolest christian biker gang on this hemisphere, Whitney sang and played piano for worship, our friends prayed over us, my parents and my sister bought us a delicious sushi lunch, and at one'o'clock we filled the tank with gas and made our way, without peril, to Whittier, California.
Leaving Arizona

The California/Arizona border

Passing some patriots on the way. And yes, their liscense plate does, in fact, say "Ah-MUR-can!"
The road ahead. I'll look at that as a good omen.

Whitney has a fuzz on her toenail... oops

We listened to an audio book about finance and Wall Street on the way, and made it to the door of her Great Aunt Carols house in one piece. All on a single tank of gas, I may add.

We were greeted by a friendly house in a nice neighborhood. Upon entering the house we found we were not the only guests to inhabit the space. Situated neatly on shelves, in display cases, in corners, lining walls, on beds, and tables, and even filling boxes in the garage, were the beautifully painted, blank eyed, soulless stares of a thousand porcelain dolls. All were elegantly clad, and nicely displayed, the house had become a museum.




And a puppy..
Carol and her husband Joe, and her son Matt, had prepared a wonderful dinner of ham, green beans, sweet potatoes, noodle casserole, bread, and for dessert, jello with marshmallows on top.
We ended the night walking through the neighborhood, taking a few pictures of the cute houses (which didn't come out), and some funny signs.

One of the funny signs
Then we came back and talked to Carol, Joe, and Matt until eleven. It was a beautiful start to a wonderful adventure. Tomorrow we will hit the beach, making sure to leave after nine so as not to hit the traffic for which LA is known so well. As an author, everything going so well makes a rubbish story, but for an adventurer, the reality was some kind of wonderful.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Back from Alabama, to Colorado and the little hipster town that threatens to make me settle down and open a bakery

As I was flying home from Alabama I discovered, in a moment of panic and disgust, that I had a stowaway attached to the nape of my neck. While running my travel weary fingers through my hair I discovered, to my horror and bewilderment, that a tick had burrowed its way into my head and was feeding on my life fluids. Not only that, but I had been to the woods three days before, a calculation that meant that I had a parasite living comfortably at the base of my skull for three days! The worst part however, was the realization that I had one more hour on the plane accompanied only by a plump tick and a woman from Uruguay who spoke three words of English, and every other word of Spanish that she uttered escaped her lips in a whisper. I can understand more Spanish than I can speak. Unfortunately, I was unable to relate that knowledge to her, being vastly unaware of how to say, "I can understand you if you talk louder than the stream of air shooting from the vents."
It was fun talking to her. Taking half an hour to discover her country of origin, and another half hour understanding that she was flying to Phoenix in order to see her sons, took my mind off of the little conniving pest attached to my brain stem. I could almost feel its manacle laughter, "Ha Ha Ha, I'm eating your BRAIN!" I've never had much respect for zombie ticks.
Which is why I did what I did when I got home.
After declaring loudly to everyone that I had a stowaway attached to me, one that had somehow managed to get through airport security, my mother, born and raised in Mississippi, escorted me outside to perform surgery. A hot needle, tweezers, soap, and a lot of wincing later, I had the tick in my possession, rather than the other way around. I snapped a few pictures, and then, in cold blooded revenge, I soaked him in alcohol on the tip of a q-tip and lit him on fire. It was not as epic as I had imagined, more of a sizzle than an explosion, but it made me feel better.
I then dumped the contents of my suitcase into the washing machine, refolded everything, and packed for my five A.M. drive the next morning.
Durango Colorado is beautiful, and entirely worth the twelve hour van ride north. I spent one beautiful week walking the streets, and living in the not so beautiful dorms of Fort Lewis College. For some reason, I am entirely fine with sleeping in dilapidated surroundings in a third world situation. Sleeping in tents outside doesn't bother me. Sure, I am not a fan of bugs (ticks especially) but I am fine with their presence when I expect them. However, sleeping in a dirty, human-fecal-matter-smelling, human-tooth-on-the-window-sill-next-to-large-unidentifiable-stains, type rooms, when expecting something nicer, gives me the literal heebie-jeebies. Now, I don't know if any of you have ever had the heebie-jeebies, but I had shivers going down my spine almost to the point of convulsions.
Needless to say, I went to bed late, and woke up early, spending as little time as possible in those prison cell rooms. If ever in Durango, the best way to spend a day is to start early, drink the worlds best coffee at Durango Joe's (it's legendary), walk the town and see all of the tribal Asian shops, admire the cute houses and boutiques, count how many people have dread-locks and skateboards, watch people water their lawns in a very 1950's suburban America fashion, and then have lunch at one of the many delicious local restaurants, have a swim in the river, and end the day looking down at the town from the college in the sky, Fort Lewis, that looks down over the entire city. The town is so beautiful, young and local friendly that it makes me want to live there, settling down into that domestic American lifestyle that is so symbolic of the American Dream. Durango Colorado is my favorite town in the world, just waiting for me to settle down and open a bakery. If you know me, you know that settling down is the last thing on my mind, but I feel as if part of my soul belongs there. I will always go back, and if not to settle down, then at least for another cup of Durango Joe's legendary coffee. I have a loyalty card there, and I only go once a year. Already, I can't wait until next summer. If I can't go back as a leader for my churches youth group, then I will find a way. Who knows, maybe one day I will open a bakery there. I have always wanted to buy a human-sized bag of flour!


Right now I find myself enjoying a quiet evening in the garden behind the house I am staying in in Alabama. It is very beautiful here, especially now after it has been raining all afternoon. I can hear birds twittering away in the trees. And Oh! the trees! They do transport me back in time, imposing upon me their ancient timelessness as they stand in the woods. I may sound like a poetic sap, but when I am standing, surrounded in greenery and the skittering of animals underfoot, the gentle humming of insects seeking to drain my body of blood, the soft wind rustling the leaves and erasing the gentle and distant murmur of traffic, I feel as if I have stepped back in time to a place where clocks have no meaning and life is eternal and ever present.
I have noticed that Alabama can only be seen in small sections. The trees themselves act as a barrier that hide the world. I am not accustomed to so much green! I live in the desert of Arizona, I can stand on my roof and on a clear day see most of the state. From the mountain tops that surround the valley of the sun, as Phoenix is so affectionately named, my eyes travel the distance of many miles in a single glance, seeing the entirety of the valley. But here, on the wooded land of Alabama within the humid American south, beauty can only be appreciated one tree at a time. The roads curve gently through the land, unfolding the sights to be seen a few feet at a time. Entire cities are hidden by a curve in the road, and equally erased by another.
The sun is setting, and the lightning bugs are emerging. Small floating stars float among the green landscape. When the sun sets, an entire molten universe will appear in the trees. The flashing disarray that is the dance of the lightning bugs is fascinating to behold, each one illuminated for only a second, but replaced by scores more. The night sky may be covered by the green ceiling of the leaves, but there are more stars fluttering about the foliage that make up for the lack of sky. Most of the bugs here are fascinating in their own right. I have seen beautiful butterflies that land and fold their wings only to look like a splinter of wood. I have seen stick bugs, and ants the size of cashews. There have been grasshoppers that are shaped like leaves, and spiders of every shape and size. Some spiders look like little floating balls suspended by eight long spindly stilts, others walk on the surface of water, skittering about as if on dry land. I have seen winged ants, bright blue bugs, lady bugs with more spots than red, ticks, and giant beetles.
There are so many animals as well, deer, hawks, egrets, great horned owls, cardinals, snakes, and the cutest little toads that are the size of the tip of my thumb.
Alabama has been such a beautiful experience for me, being surrounded by so much beauty is mesmerizing. Audrey, the wonderful woman who I am living with (along with her husband Mike and three dogs Mario, Louie, and Molly) , has taken me on hikes to see caves, waterfalls, rivers, wildlife, and stone quarries. The house here is lovely, situated on a hill that looks out over a beautiful lake, they have boats, a tree house, a barn, a trail that goes up the mountain, and a basement with the most comfortable couch in the world. I have thoroughly enjoyed my stay here in America's South, and I am sad that I will be leaving it in two days. Although, it will be nice to escape the bites of mosquitoes and no-see-ums.